Every day I tune in to the various religion/talk/ham-handed political livestock programmes (yes, programmes. I am not so pedestrian as to allow a program into my ears) offered on my vehicle's FM radiometer. Sometimes, while driving, I can be seen rolling my eyes and gesticulating at the invisible hosts of the shows. Enraged by their dogma and willful stupidity, I struggle to comprehend how an adult mind can pretend to believe these ridiculous and often, demonstrable false, ideas. Note: By idea I mean 'any random assemblage of neuronal activity large enough to escape the mouth of a radio host.' A topic that gets far too much play on these frequency modulated sideshows is "religion in education." Cast in various disguises, Intelligent Design, teaching the controversy, unapologetic support for bible verses in public schools, and so on, this fantasy-based approach to education often strikes one of my many nerves. I live, breathe, teach, and love logical thought, reasoned approaches to belief, and the good old scientific method. Until today, there was no shred of religion that I found acceptable for use in public schools (private institutions get a pass, since they are pay for play operations, free to spout whatever jibberjabber they please as long parents don't complain).
Call me a convert, folks. The best religion for schools is old time religion. Actually, olde tyme religion, as in ancient gods in whose dreams are our very beings manifest. Horrid, slithering intelligences slumbering beneath that veil that we, as mortals, pray will never be pulled from our eyes. Infinite seas of darkest midnight obscure the voice of the great old ones... all who...you get the idea. What better way to give all belief systems their fair shake than to expose our children to the possibility of madness...MADNESS IN THE FACE OF UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS?
Thanks to the folks at the The Onion for opening the worm-eaten tomes and showing us things the mainstream media won't.
Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum
"ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district's monthly meeting Tuesday..."
